After many years of public bathroom research, I am at last ready to publish my resulting theories. The first of these is called "Always use the second stall." Since most men like to pee standing up, but some don't like to do so in public, they will use a stall for that purpose. The most popular stall to use from my observations is the first one. A corollary theory stemming from this observation is that most men are also lazy - it's why they not only choose the first (and hence closest to the door) stall, but also why they tend to be too lazy to actually pay attention to where they are peeing.

Men who bypass the first stall seem to value their privacy all the more, and therefore head to the last stalls furthest from the door. This is again based on the evidence left behind. This group also disdains the second stall because if the first stall is being used by someone from the first group, then there is also the risk of splash damage.

It can be concluded, therefore, that the safest (i.e. most hygienic) stall to use is the second stall, despite the concerns exhibited by the second group. You just have to be sure to keep your feet raised above the bottom of the partition.

My second theory stemming from my extensive research on this topic, is that companies staffing college-educated professionals have a tendency to hire a comparatively large number of handicapped employees, particularly the blind. This theory was formulated by the direct observation of the typically well-kept corporate bathroom stall still being covered in carelessly directed urine. The only conclusion that I am able to reach from this observation is that the companies in question must have a number of blind, male employees. Otherwise, if the men in question weren't blind, then they could easily see the results of their misdeeds and take appropriate corrective action. Clearly, this is not the case.

This research has led me to wonder what the allure of peeing standing up is for men. I'm still stumped on this, however, and have as yet been unable to formulate a coherent hypothesis.