The late Paul Harvey could well have termed this The rest of the story....

You are being lied to about pirates

We finally broke in our new Pirates of the Caribbean Scrabble game! And no, we don't play with the screwy optional rules that came with this game. 4 bonus points for spelling Elizabeth? You've got to be kidding me!

Melanie 363, Kent 346. The crazy thing about this game is that on the second turn Melanie spelled cringes to use all her tiles, and then I had my turn and spelled juvenile to use all mine! I've never used all mine before, let alone right after someone used all theirs. The crazier thing was that several turns later Melanie used all her tiles again with the word staring!

Here is a little ditty in follow-up to some changes at work for 2009:

All [redacted] US
Employees:

The purpose of this
email is to clarify information regarding the (2) Unpaid Days Off that [redacted] spoke of in his presentation, on Jan 8^th.   The two days selected are
May 22, 2009 and December 23, 2009.  This is a cost savings initiative for the
company that we felt all employees will have a stake in and one that we have
determined is needed for 2009.    

Many employees sent
emails asking how we would handle the (2) Unpaid Days.  The majority of the
emails we received from employees stated that they understood the reasons behind
the Unpaid Days.  Their concern on the matter centered around how it would be
handled administratively.  Many felt that they preferred to have their pay
reduced equally for the remaining pay periods in 2009.  This would reduce the
financial impact of having the reduction happening in only two pay periods.   We
have decided that this is the best way to go.

The net result is that
all employees will see a separate line item on their pay statements from
February 15^th – December 31^st.  The line item will be
listed as UPD (Unpaid Days Off).  This reduction amount will be equivalent to
the dollar amount for the two unpaid days, divided by the remaining (22) pay
periods.  This is not what is typically considered a true reduction in pay, as a
reduction in pay would present a lower base salary, AND you would still be
required to work those (2) days. 

Thank you for your
understanding and your dedication as we navigate through these challenging
economic times.   

Best Regards,
[redacted]
Human Resources Director

Now I like that they are doing this, don't get me wrong. What I object to is the typical corporate spin-control to continue to defend this as not a pay cut. Sorry but I'll take the red pill over the blue pill, thank you very much.

Melanie and I started playing Scrabble again, and decided to keep a running score total, and screenshots of the final boards. Yes. we are that nerdy. We didn't decide to do the latter until the second game, so the first is lost forever, but the second game is recorded here!

Melanie 271, Kent 321

Technorati Tags: Scrabble

Game 3: Kent 319, Melanie 319

Technorati Tags: Scrabble

The company I work for just updated some "policies":

1. [redacted] has decided to eliminate the (2) [paid] personal days that we
   previously provided.
2. [redacted] has decided to schedule (2) Unpaid Days Off during 2009,
   May 22, 2009 and December 23, 2009.  [redacted] will be closed on both days and no
   employees will be paid for those (2) days.  Employees are not permitted to use
   vacation days on those two selected days.  In the event, you are required to be
   on a skeleton crew during one or both of those days, another day within that
   week will be selected as your Unpaid Day.
3. Vacation for all employees will be maxed out at (4) weeks per
   year.
4. To conform to industry averages, sick days will reduce from (7)
   days to (5) days per year.
5. Employees are expected to work an additional (3) hours per
   week.

 Of course all this was pitched as an alternative to cutting pay. Ahem. I would say forcing 2 unpaid days off, eliminating 2 paid days off, and eliminating 2 sick days certainly does amount to cutting pay, albeit in sheeps clothing. My computations go as follows:

52 weeks a year times 5 days a week equals 260 work days a year. A total of 6 days have effectively been removed, while 3 hours have been added a week (another 7.5%), so altogether that yields a pay cut of about 9.8%. Pile that on top of the 4th year of a pay freeze and we're all down a total of 17.8% minimum if you assume a measly 2% cost of living pay increase every year. And of course if you had "earned" more than 4 weeks of vacation, you lost a lot more. I just love corporate management spin. No paycut, woo-hoo!

While at World of Fun with Rissy, I witnessed a couple of things that were pretty disturbing. When we were in line for Fury of the Nile, a bit behind us in line were a group of guys that looked to be about 30. One had his son with him, who was about 5 or 6. These guys were crude, making comments on the various attributes of the women who were coming off the ride. More than once I'd peer back when the dad holding his son would be making some comment as well, in addition to their liberal use of vulgar language. Dads, this is how sons grow up to be as crude, unintelligent, and insensitive as you. Ever hear the song "Cats in the Cradle" by Harry Chapin? Same thing without the vulgarities.

We stupidly waited in line for about 2.5 hours for Asylum Island, part of their Halloween Haunt. We'd never done that at Worlds of Fun, and given the ridiculously huge lines for all the Halloween Haunt attractions, this one in particular, we thought it surely must be just amazing. It wasn't. But while we waited in line, there was a dad there with his small boys (about 5 or 6 and maybe 7 or 8). Asylum Island was made to be an insane asylum where the patients had taken over. Some of the patients were wandering the grounds and would interact a bit with the people in line. These two boys were taunting them mercilessly and completely inappropriately, while their dad just watched and laughed. I understood that the boys were doing this to cope with their fear, and when one of the actors bolted across the 20 yards or so that separated him from the taunting boys, they of course freaked out. Now I don't mean that the actor just ran - he was clearly an athlete, and he covered that 20 years in about 2 seconds down on all fours, including jumping up to a picnic table and down again in that position. The boys ran to their dad and asked him if the guys could touch them "no matter what we do", to which their dad assured them that they couldn't, and that no matter what his sons did or said the people would get into trouble if they touched them in any way. This of course emboldened them further to then go out into the fog-machine haze and seek the actors out. Of course they once again came running scared back to their dad after a minute or so. Model parenting this was not.

Of less surprising note was the late teen/early twenties guys making nearly-nonstop sexual observations about various girls. I realized later that this was just their own coping mechanism to deal with their fears and insecurities when it comes to women - just like the boys did to cope with their fears. It's a sad reflection of parenting and growing up in our society, and I once again weep for our future.

Rissy's birthday was great! She had a chocolate ice-cream cake, which was a first for her, and she got the game she's been begging for - Sims City 4. Be sure the check out the photos from Worlds of Fun, where we rode:

•  Flying Dutchman - once
• Viking Voyager - once
• Fury of the Nile - once
• Train - once
• Asylum Island - once
• Sea Dragon - once
• Spinning Dragons - once
• Zulu - once
• Cyclone Sams - twice
• Thunderhawk - twice
• Bamboozler - twice
• Patriot - twice
• Boomerang - three times
• Mamba - three times
• Timber Wolf - four times

 UPDATE - I realized there were a couple of things I tried to make mental notes to include when I blogged about our trip, and of course I forgot. Rissy and I are HUGE Weird Al fans, so we brought the DVD of all his music videos to play on our portable DVD player in the car. I couldn't watch, but Rissy cranked it up and we both sang along, with much enthusiasm. I'm sure some people likely saw us and got a chuckle.

Another of our road-trip tradition DVDs is Robin Hood: Men in Tights. I've not actually seen this one more than a few times, but I've heard it plenty. Rissy knows all the lines and recites, RHPS-style, right along with much of the movie, it is so cute. I hope I get a couple more years of my "little" girl before she turns into a big girl that won't do these wonderful things with her dad.

On the trip back home, we stopped at an Arby's drive through before leaving Kansas City - Arby's is by far her favorite. She promptly passed out soon after, and I knew she was really out of it when I noticed the condensation from her drink dripping down from the window cup holder of our non-air-conditioned car onto her bare leg - and she didn't so much as twitch a muscle.

Rissy turns into a teenager Saturday, the big 13. I'm taking her to Worlds of Fun in Kansas City, just the two of us. We've never done that before, and I know it's going to be a blast! It's going to be a long day, too, since we're going for Halloween Haunt and the park is open until 1:00 a.m. We'll also be spending the night at a hotel, something Rissy just loves to do, so this will be a birthday to remember, I'm sure.

I remember going to Worlds of Fun at the same age with my twin brother Kevin and our friend Donnie Dunn. His family invited us to go with them, which for two extra guests wasn't inexpensive. We had the best time I ever remember having there, literally running from ride to ride as fast as we could. I wish I had pictures of my geeky, skinny, 7th grade self from that trip. Three young pals, not a care in the world, having one fantastic day together.

I'll be sure to get lots of pictures of this trip with Rissy. Soon she won't want to do this sort of thing with her dad.

Last night was our school's homecoming dance, and Marissa invited her cousin Vika to go with her. For those who don't know, Vika is from Russia and has only been in this country about 6 months. The theme was Thriller, so before we left to take the girls to the dance Marissa looked up the Thriller video on YouTube. As Vika watched, she suddenly recognized the main character and exclaimed, "Michael Jackson is black!" 

Marissa took our smaller digital camera with her for pictures will be up soon. 

I came across some information on a young Japanese pilot in WWII named Yukio Araki. I've got nothing to add about him, except maybe that if you don't cry while reading this, read it again with your heart.

I've been thinking more about men and bathrooms. No, not in that Larry Craig way. I mean in that men-standing-up-to-pee-is-responsible-for-the-downfall-of-civilization sort of way. Maybe I should explain.

Standing up to pee is just lazy. It's not that hard to undo your pants and sit down to pee. Do men feel too busy to take that little bit of extra time? Or maybe men just feel too much of an "ewwww" factor thinking about other mens butts being on that seat, so they only do it when they have to. This could also explain why men have to have something to read when they do their business - distraction.

Or maybe men feel too important - that could be why executives like to have their own private bathrooms, no association with the riff-raff that way don't you know.

And don't get me going on men's aim. You make a mess, you should clean it up. Works for my kids, anyway, but not for typical men in bathrooms, it would seem.

You see if most men weren't this way, then they'd be more sensitive and empathetic. How much destruction at the hands of self-centered, self-important men could have been avoided if only they didn't pee standing up? Mothers - teach your young boys to pee sitting down, the future of civilization might just depend on it.

After many years of public bathroom research, I am at last ready to publish my resulting theories. The first of these is called "Always use the second stall." Since most men like to pee standing up, but some don't like to do so in public, they will use a stall for that purpose. The most popular stall to use from my observations is the first one. A corollary theory stemming from this observation is that most men are also lazy - it's why they not only choose the first (and hence closest to the door) stall, but also why they tend to be too lazy to actually pay attention to where they are peeing.

Men who bypass the first stall seem to value their privacy all the more, and therefore head to the last stalls furthest from the door. This is again based on the evidence left behind. This group also disdains the second stall because if the first stall is being used by someone from the first group, then there is also the risk of splash damage.

It can be concluded, therefore, that the safest (i.e. most hygienic) stall to use is the second stall, despite the concerns exhibited by the second group. You just have to be sure to keep your feet raised above the bottom of the partition.

My second theory stemming from my extensive research on this topic, is that companies staffing college-educated professionals have a tendency to hire a comparatively large number of handicapped employees, particularly the blind. This theory was formulated by the direct observation of the typically well-kept corporate bathroom stall still being covered in carelessly directed urine. The only conclusion that I am able to reach from this observation is that the companies in question must have a number of blind, male employees. Otherwise, if the men in question weren't blind, then they could easily see the results of their misdeeds and take appropriate corrective action. Clearly, this is not the case.

This research has led me to wonder what the allure of peeing standing up is for men. I'm still stumped on this, however, and have as yet been unable to formulate a coherent hypothesis.

Avast, ye wanderers of the open 'net, it be Talk Like a Pirate Day, and ye be likin' it, too, or ye be getting the ropes end!

I'm reminded, I am, of a time a few sails back, when I found meself boot deep in all manner of piratical scallywags. Twas quite a sight to be sure, nigh to a sutler at a strange port 'twas...

We were shopping at Target earlier, and while I was waiting outside the fitting rooms for Rissy and Melanie, I noticed a girl of about 13 sitting alone in the waiting area by the fitting rooms, too. She was intently examining some sort of toy set, something with small figurines etc. It was clearly something intended for someone younger, and I found it interesting how much this new teen was admiring this toy, this symbol of her own youth. She looked up suddenly and hurriedly put the package back into her cart just as her mom and younger sister came out of a fitting room. She clearly didn't want to get caught longing for this mere child's toy.

As bemused as I was at this observation, I was also somewhat melancholy. If you can't still be a kid at 13, then I guess 47 is just right out...